Can a separated Dad be a great father? Sure, but maybe a divorced man should also ask Why are you saying that? Just because you’re not divorced, it does not mean that you are a great father. It’s really such a pity that our society considers someone as a dead beat parent just because he’s divorced. There are a lot of fantastic divorced fathers out there and you can learn a lot from them.
Keeping It Close. You’ve got to admit that children suffer a lot from the consequences of divorce. From irate parents, to separation anxiety, it’s a tough world out there for children whose parents are divorced or getting divorced.
Keeping up appearances for the children require sacrifice. Usually, both mother and father have to be able to set aside their differences long enough to inspect the damage that they have both done to their children. However, more often than not, parents get so engrossed with their emotional pain that they fail to notice that their children suffer even more than they do.
If you are a single parent this is not easy. Dating for dads and dating for mothers is the only answer – don’t rush into things, but children need two parents and when you’re ready, you should get, and will find, another partner.
Studies show that when two parents make a conscious effort to stay close to each other, then they have more successful and stable children. What more do you have to know? Children need two parents. Never think that dating for single dads is out of the question. In fact, it is vital for the kids. You know that it is, don’t you?
A Formal Study: To emphasize the importance of a father’s closeness to his children, the State University of Arizona conducted a study of college students whose parents were divorced. The researchers observed personality, emotional and mental maturity, health, and even interest in school and success. The researchers found facts that support the idea that whoever had primary custody, it is certain that children need access to adults of both sexes.
Findings: The results are quite surprising. Statistical evidence clearly shows that children whose parents are separated have healthier and more mature relationships than their parents and make a conscious effort of keeping the family together.
Just over 60% of the children involved in the study asserted that their mother or, whoever had primary custodianship over them, moved them at least an hour’s drive away from where the other parent lived. The students were particularly worried about getting caught in the crossfire. Furthermore, when they stayed with one parent, future financial help (like for school or college) lessened. For example, if they stayed with Dad, Mum gave less when college came, and vice versa. So, the fact is that the 1 hour distance between them already had a negative effect on the children.
There will be emotional disturbance, it cannot really be prevented, but upon closer inspection of the children involved, it was clearly shown that those whose parents stayed close to them had a better emotional disposition and a better mentally too.
Summary: All in all, the case study shows that divorce does affect children. The way the parents treat each other and the distance they live from their children does have a significant impact that could determine whether the child succeeds or not. It is difficult to make friends with an ex-wife after all that has been said and done, but it will be more difficult for you as a divorced dad, when in the future, you see your children suffer the consequences of your actions.
As a separated Dad, it is your responsibility, to yourself and your children to make the supreme sacrifice of making the first step of keeping close.
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